


Ways Out of a Drug Test

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Euphoria (TV 2019), Phil Watson is a dad, Recreational Drug Use, Tommy does drugs, past overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Just a Euphoria AU one shot because I wanted to.If there are tags I didn't add and you think I should, please tell me!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90
Collections: Anonymous





	Ways Out of a Drug Test

As Tommy rides up to the apartment, he notices Phil's car parked out front. 

"Fuck"

He quickly locks up his bike to his favorite tree and goes inside. 

Phil is waiting for him in the kitchen. 

"Where were you?" 

Tommy stands silently for a moment, "I went to eat."

Phil sighs and pinches his forehead, "I don't trust you, Tommy."

Tommy glares lightly, "what do you want me to say?" 

Phil looks up at him, "I want to drug test you."

Tommy begins to internally panic. "Well.. Unfortunately, I just peed."

Tommy quickly begins walking down the hall to his room, Phil following quickly behind. From the opposite end of the hall, there are two other teens, both older than the boy being followed by their father. Tommy quickly slams his door and winces, falling onto his bed. 

"Do not slam your door, Tommy." 

"It was an accident!" 

"Well, you're not leaving this house until you take a drug test!" 

"Whatever! I've got nothing to hide!"

Tommy listens silently as Phil walks away, waiting to push himself into action. The minute he was confident Phil was gone, he got up and started pacing.

Now there are a few ways to beat a drug test. The first is simple. 

Stop doing drugs. 

But Tommy’s in a bind and totally fucked, so he has a few options. 

Some better than others. 

Option one. 

Niacin. It's a b vitamin that, like breaks down chemicals or whatever. And if he takes a lot of it, like two thousand milligrams and chug a few gallons of water, he can flush his system in two to three days. The only problem is, it has a few side effects.

Skin flushing. Extreme dizziness. Vomiting. Rapid heart beat. And-

Sometimes death. 

Tommy wouldn’t recommend it, nor would any legitimate drug site on the Internet. 

Option two. 

Synthetic Urine. 

While it's very convincing, unfortunately, it costs way too fucking much. 

**'$89.99 + tax + s &h'**

_ Yeah, fucking right.  _

Tommy lays down trying to think of any other possibility, and on comes a grin. 

Option 3. 

Get a non addict friend to piss for him. 

_ Jackpot _ .

Tommy carefully climbs out of his window and runs. 

The only problem with dear option 3 is most over the counter, home drug testing kits come with heat sensor strips that detect the temperature of the urine. And if parents insist on watching, the sink trick isn’t an option. 

So he has to get it fresh. 

Tommy shows up at Tubbo’s house and knocks loudly. 

Tubbo opens with a 'why the fuck are you here?' face. 

"I need a favor from you" 

"I'm in the middle of dinner." Tubbo glares slightly. 

"Like, for real, Tubbo." 

Tubbo sighs and drags Tommy in. 

_ The side effect of this option? _

Tommy stands awkwardly in front of Eret, Dream, and Schlatt, Tubbo’s brothers. 

Schlatt, obviously half drunk and in his typical bored malice, looks Tommy over. 

"So Tommy, how was rehab?" 

Tommy forces a smile on his face, "it was really, really good."

Eret senses the tension and tries to bring it down a bit, "how long have you been back?" 

"Four days." 

As Tubbo comes back from the bathroom, Tommy puts one hand behind his back. He covertly hands him a bottle of Ocean Mist nasal spray. Then in front of his brothers, he hands over an old shirt Tommy had left once. 

Tommy feels a grin slip onto his face

. 

After running home, Tommy puts on a long skirt he had borrowed from Tubbo at some point. He hikes up the skirt and carefully tapes the nasal spray bottle to his thigh where he knows he can quietly and quickly remove and replace it. 

He checks in the mirror and the skirt hides it. 

"Dad! I have to pee!" 

Phil hands him a sterilized cup as they walk to the bathroom. Tommy looks at him with the fake honeysuckle smile that always got Phil. 

Tommy tears up with fake tears, "I wish we could do this in a way that isn't a complete invasion of my privacy.”

Phil sighs and shakes his head slightly, "you gave up your right to your privacy after you overdosed."

"That was a mistake." 

"Don't be dumb, Tommy. It's one of the most frightening things a father could witness."

Toommy quietly motions for Phil to turn around, and he does, folding his arms. Tommy quickly detaches the bottle and holds it low as he squeezes it in at the same speed his pee usually comes out. 

"Not to mention Techno. Who completely adores you." 

"I know, Dad." 

"For him to have to find his little brother unconscious like that-" 

Tommy starts to actually tear up, "Phil, please not now. I know a lot of you all probably hate me right now, and I get it."

Tommy finishes the bottle and quickly sticks it back to his thigh where he knew it would stay and adjusts the skirt before turning Phil around to give him the cup. 

"If I could be a different person, I promise you, I would." 

He smiles and puts the cup in Phil's hand before rushing out. 


End file.
